Male Virgin at 29 and never dated?
OK, I have read several of questions similar to the one that I am writing about. I will have to say that I am relieved that this is not so uncommon. I work with someone that says that he has a friend that is 26 and a virgin. I think this is mostly due to our society and how we are being self hypnotized from, models in magazines, TV and movies. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that, but most people can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality. After all most of the models are done in photo shop.
Back to me, yes I am 29 male and a virgin. I have never been kissed or on a date (something I guess I should be saying to a therapist). I am an only child and I am VERY independent. My family was very religious and sex was something that was never talked about. I wasn’t the most popular kid in school and was picked on lots of times, but that was 10 years ago and things have drastically changed. Because of that I strived to work hard and make something of myself. The down side is that I never dated. My job used to require me to do lots of travel to places around the world but I have put my foot down so that I can stay local. I don’t want to be one of them always away and married to my job. I have also braked away from some of my mental abuse from my religion through the book by Richard Dawkins The God Delusion, if you are religious and haven’t read it I suggest you give it look.
I did have a private problem with drinking 5 years ago but have stopped on my own, I just drink socially now. I deal with my stress with diet and exercise every day this helped with my insomnia. Most people think I’m nuts for eating the way I do and having a gym in my house but they don’t know that I need it just so I can deal with stress. For most of my life I had problems sleeping due to loneliness and exercise helps a great deal. Basically any problem I had I have dealt with on my own without anybody at my side.
Now that I have bought my first house at 29 my feelings have amplified. I know that I have a major self image problem but this was mostly because of High School. I just recently posted an image of myself on some web site called Hot or Not. I found that after 500 votes I was a 8.5 so I guess I’m not that bad looking.
Basically I find it hard to tell anybody about my problem. Know one knows that I am a virgin, I just lie about it. It hurts too much to tell anybody. I am trying to change myself just like all the other times but this has to be the hardest thing I have ever done, even over getting a degree. I’m currently trying the online dating thing, but most of these web sites are rip offs. I’m not sure If I should tell anyone about this or just get some psychological help.
Photo Rating
dont tell them then
about once a month you can sign up for 3 free days of match.com get all your sh1t out of the way in those three days and cancel again before it takes your cash, and do it again in about a month. really if you aren’t looking for a super model finding a woman close to your age is really easy. I am not ultra attractive, but I do date frequently because I give that personality girl a chance.
Lol don’t worry, go outside, have a bit of fun, Im quite curious as I have voted ALOT on these Hot Or Not Websites, Im sure you can easily find someone, you’re just not looking, I’m sure if you talk to someone you can feel better, Even the good people at answers are nice people to talk to considering alot of things. Im not sure if Internet dating is the way to go but I think you can easily have a lot of fun and experiences going out and having fun, Try to get alot of friends who like to go out and that invite you to places
Read this book it would help you out
THE GAME: PENETRATING THE SECRET SOCIETY OF PICKUP ARTISTS
by Neil Strauss
The only “problem” I hear from your writing, is that you “think” you have a problem, because you are a virgin at 29. Well, my dear, that is not a problem….your desire to change it is the problem. Are you saying that you want a loving relationship now with sex and you don’t know how to go about it? Well, first you find a woman who is attracted to you and you her and let nature take it’s course. Because of your religious upbringing, you cannot escape the thoughts that there “is” a reason for you still being a virgin…and possibly a noble one. Whatever it is, embrace it as a part of you and just welcome new adventures in life that will be coming your way. Just remember, God does not change, only we do. If you still as if you truly have a problem, you cannot change by yourself, then you do need to get help from an analyst. Try a Christian one…they do exist and can buffer your thinking according to how you grew up. Good Luck.
—-The God Delusion is TOTALLY the best book ever. Dawkins is incredibly intelligent…I love him. Hes very straight-forward and never looks down upon a reader even if I only know like half of what says about the human genome and etc.—–
Anyways, I dont think youre problem (its not really a problem) is rare at all. It is due to the media that we are compelled and forced into wanting sex at a early age or that being a virgin isnt cool at all. I think youre at a point in your life right now that you happen to want more in life (because you are buying a home, right?) which usually involves being more engage with others, meaning dating, sex, having more friends, settling a little. Its normal.
It honestly doesnt do you any good to lie about being a virgin, I dont think its fair at all to be asked such a question. I mean, it doesnt make you feel good about yourself to lie, so if youre asked the question (which shouldnt be ANYBODYs business) just tell them its personal.
You seem intelligent, and honey, its an attractive character to have. Go out more, meet new people and talk to more ladies. You seem like a serious person, so let your guards down a little, and relax. Sex shouldnt be want you want, but rather a healthy relationship with someone.
Drinking doesnt help anything. You can seek therapy, but I think youre fine to work this through by yourself. The thing I say is No One Knows You Better Than Yourself. So dont punish yourself for something you can change. Good Luck. If you need more help, you can email me if you like. Its.